What does being an "expat" actually mean?

I am an expat. My husband is an expat. I am from France. He is from South Africa. We met in the UK in 2005.

We fell in love with England (and with each other of course). So much to offer (amazing people, culture, history, sceneries, etc...).

We first lived in London. We met other expats like us. We shared amazing experiences with them. This mix of people was so refreshing and enriching. However they all left one by one.

After a while it started to feel a little bit lonely in London. And, without all our friends, I started to miss "Home".

It is funny how an expat always refers to his/her country of birth as their "Home", even if they made a new country their "Home".

I struggled to make British friends at the beginning. Maybe because I did not really get the jokes or did not understand what they were referring to most of the time. The British culture was completely foreign to me.

This is when I realised that I never really made an effort to fit in. All my friends had been foreigners until then...

Then Trevor and I got married and we decided that it was time to grow up and we bought our first home outside London and had our first child.
 
From this point onwards, life in the UK really began for me: I accumulated all my "British Firsts". First British friend, First Sunday roast, First cream tea, First fish and chips, First cupcake...

I missed out on so much and I did not even know about it. So much to catch up on!

I owe it all to my son in a way. They say that you meet new people/make new friends thanks to your kids. It was no different for us; this is what actually happened.

After my maternity leave, I returned to work. Trev and I found a lovely childminder (who then became my friend, my first British friend). I learned so much about the British culture through her.

Our 6-year old son describes himself as British. He knows that he is partly French and partly South African as well. He embraces all the different nationalities as one. It is simply amazing!

For me, it is a bit different. I am not French anymore but I am not British either. I am like a French/British hybrid. My French accent (although not as strong these days) is a curse to me. Although it is part of my heritage (and I know I should be proud of it), it prevents me from fitting in.

As much as I try to disguise it, people can still place my accent and then ask me where I am from (originally). I wished they asked me where I was from in the county instead. But never mind... This is how things are and I have accepted it.

Trevor does not worry about all this. He believes that he has earned his place and that no one could challenge his right to stay here. He is naturally a confident person.

This is where we are both different. I am more the "insecure" personality type.

I love the UK, this has been my home for 11 years and I could not imagine leaving somewhere else now... But sometimes people (not always intentionally) remind me that I am an outsider.

I belong nowhere: neither in the UK, nor France... I belong to no man's land...

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